Hitting a wall

Since I wrote my last post and put my new life manifesto out there for all   no one to see, I have hit a wall or two! First of all I got the devastating news that my grandad is in the final stages of his battle with cancer, unfortunately he is losing it 😦 The news hit me like a tonne of bricks and I spent 3 days crying and reflecting on life. I won’t go into it all here, mainly because it is so painful to talk about, but needless to say I HATE fucking cancer!

The day after this news hit me, another storm came my way. This time one that had been brewing for longer and in secret so that it was a shock to all when it emerged. The truth about my financial situation and the huge amount of debt I am currently facing became public knowledge at my work place. I cannot tell you how ashamed, humiliated and exposed I felt.  After trying to keep it under wraps for well over a year, the facade finally cracked and all was revealed to my bosses. Now I know I could have fobbed them off and continued to hide what was happening in my personal life but in light of the recent news about my grandfather and other pressures I was facing it was a massive relief at first to just burst forth like a damn and let it all out.

So here I am 16 days after my positive post reflecting on the mess strewn all around me and finding myself at ground zero emotionally. The only good thing about everyone knowing the truth now is that I must act. I have too much pride and determination to let the people around me see me fail and fall even further.

Dong my usual Sunday surfing on the net I came across this article, ‘How I Paid off $14,000 and became debt free’. It sparked something in me and got me thinking that perhaps this blog could lean more towards how I deal with my debt than how I deal with my body and eating habits. Perhaps it could deal with the two but I cannot keep hiding from the fact that I have a massive mountain of debt to conquer and until I do that my life will never be in order and be mine.

So here I am again pledging a slightly amended manifesto. One in which the most important point is that I WILL battle and conquer my debt.  I want a life in which I have choices and opportunities and at the moment I am living a life with massive restrictions. I am setting myself the goal that by the end of 2014 I will have paid off (and more importantly closed off) 4 of my current credit accounts ( I currently owe money to 9 different creditors!!! Yikes, see I really am in trouble).

I also promise to write a weekly update on how I am doing, any tips I have picked up and generally just use this space as a place to put my self into check and make sure I am staying on the straight and narrow. Wish me luck.


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